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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Top 15 reason why people at the gym suck

Steven A. Smith does the face best. His "bruh" face epitomizes the feelings of anguish I get whenever I see people commit the following crimes inside of the gym. Below are my top 15 reason why people at the gym suck.

1.       They fail to clean their sweat off the machine

 Nobody want to sit in your pool of sweat. Paper towels and cleaning agents aren't posted around the gym for aesthetic purposes. Wipe it up.

2.       Eat while working out

So you came to the gym to lose weight? I don’t understand . 

3.       Release gas as if no one can smell it

 People in the gym are not slick. But there are times where they let their back door breeze bitch slap others in the face. This is dangerous especially if they are spotting you.

4.       Saving equipment while the gym is packed

 Come on now, get the f*** up.

5.       Sitting on a bench texting while the gym is packed

Will you stop smiling and get the hell up. She don' t want you. photo: MuscleandStrength

Please continue to sit there as if I don’t need to use that.

6.       Doing unnecessary workouts

I’m sure you’ve seen this

 And this..

 And come on, what in the hell

7.       Using chalk in a no chalk zone

photo: thestonemind
Hey bodybuilder, we know you like to lift heavy. But we don’t want your chalk all over us. Get it together man.

8.     Grunts, that sh*t is always annoying

Ok grunts are annoying. If you care that much, have fun at Planet fitness. But hey sometimes its fine.  Unless you sound like this..

9.     Talking on your phone

Nobody care about your merger or what Becky is doing tonight. Take your phone call elsewhere.

10.   Creeping while your'e on the squat machine

"I like to squat without plates" photo: thehiphopguru

 Both sexes do this. Please…stop. But on side note; keep squatting ladies, your efforts are starting to show.

11.   Hovering on your neck

Bro... seriously. You standing there wont make me go any faster
There is always those people who will interrupt your workout by just standing behind you waiting for the machine. Please dickhead, make a lap and come back.

12.   Rapping obscene lyrics as if they are the only ones in the room

“F*ck him like you do want to cum, You're gay to get discovered in my two-one-deuce. Cock-a-licking in the water by the blue bayou. Caught the warm goo in your doo-rag too son. N*gga, you’re a Kool-Aid dude”
photo : details.com
Ok what? Yes please, rap for us more.

13.   Talking to you mid set

 Shut up bro, I’m lifting

14.   Instagramming

 I like to call this “Gym esteem.” Simply defined as an increase in body image and self esteem after lifting weights and/ or working out at your local gym. This phenomenon has yet to be observed by scientist but it is very relevant. It causes an unhealthy increase in Instagram selfies and bathroom pictures. It must be stopped.

15.   Sitting naked in the locker room without using a towel

 So you just finished working out, butt still sweaty (pun intended). Go ahead sit down on the benches with no towel in the locker room that hundreds of other sit down on daily basis you ass hole.

photo: Huffingtonpost

But hey if you got killer moves like this guy:

Then you sir, are awesome. And no one will ever find you annoying.

Did I miss anything? Comment below

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