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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Why Douchebags Wear Hats In The GYM

Everyone likes to wear a nice hat every now and then. It’s understandable. No issue there, but someone needs to explain to me the logic behind wearing hats in the gym. Is this like a fashion statement or did I just not get the memo? Please, I need someone to explain to me the point of rocking a hat to the gym. 

Bradley Martin being a douche | www,theFittestBlogger.com
Douche Bags in their natural habitat

Now before you read this rant, please understand that I love me a nice fitted cap here and there. But on my unborn child’s name, I swear I will never understand why men and women rock hats when they go to the gym.

Wearing a hat while your workout (in my opinion) is equivalent to wearing jeans and flip flops at the squat rack. It is also like wearing a condom or bra when you take a shower. Or better yet, it’s like wearing shades in "da club". It just doesn’t make any sense and should not be happening.

Which brings me to ask avid gym hat wearers, what is your reasoning? I need someone to break it down to me because I clearly don’t understand why.
Man wearing hat | www.thefittestblogger.com

Are you trying to keep the sun out of your eyes? Are you undercover trying to work out without anyone noticing your basic ass? Do you like sweaty, moist, and funky hair f**king up your hats? Explain!

The only occasion you should ever wear hats while working out is: 

A.You are douchebag or douchebagette. You know it and you’re absolutely fine with it.
B. You are working out in the sun on a field, beach, or track.

women wearing a cap | www.ThefittestBlogger.com
Chloe Kardashian wearing a hat | www.thefittestblogger.com
Not ok
Oh and ladies don’t think I forgot about you. Douchbagettes of the world, I want to be very clear with you all in case you haven’t heard. Not every guy in the gym is trying to f*** you. And that hat you put on to go “incognito” is not making you invisible. 

To conclude since I know most of you need to hit the gym today, If you really don’t need a hat to hold your hair back or keep the halogen lighting out of your face, then please take that damn thing off.

And by no means am I attacking how someone looks with a hat on, because let’s be honest, most women look pretty good with a hat on. But I am attacking the logic behind it.

 Super douche | www.thefittestblogger.com
Super Douche
Some people will say “It keeps my hair out of my face” OR “It keeps the sweat out of my eyes’”


Towels also can keep the sweat out of your eyes. Hair ties and head bands can also keep the hair out of your face. There are numerous options. But still, you choose the same old musty ass hat each and every time you work out.

Anyhow, I digress. We all must stand up and against all doochmongery. Stop the nonsense in your local gym. Share this post.

Agree or disagree? Comment below and be sure to share this with all your hat wearing friends.

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  1. Who gives a fk what other people wear to the gym LOL. What a shitty article. I wear things I want to wear that I feel like I look good in. It's as simple as that. I don't have to explain anything to anyone.

    1. Thanks for explain that. 😀

  2. I wish i had this much free time on my hands haha

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  6. Who are you to call people who wear hats at the gym Douch Bags??? There are a lot of reasons wear hats to the gym! To cover up a bad hair day, to keep sweat out of there face, for fashion, for mental focus. So your the douche for thinking people who wear hats at the gym are.

  7. This guy is the douche. Who puts this much thought into hating people at the freaking gym! Be thankful people are there bettering themselves and work in your own insecurities, Paully D.

  8. I am a 57 yr old woman who has been on meds that have made my hair thin, dry, and frizzy. My hair poofs out all over when I do cardio at rhe gym. I get very self conscious and it's embarassing to be crazy looking. I wear a hat at the gym and I don't care what anyone thinks. Get a life and find something better to do with your time than tear others down with articles like this. Not everyone is wearing a hay for reasons that you are assuming they are.